Strong disagreements, critiques, harsh words, and asshole comments should put a smile on your face. Someone may trash you and your opinion on social media or your boss may give you negative feedback. Maybe you’ve lost a friendship over a disagreement or a stranger was rude.
It definitely won’t feel good at the time as your instincts and basic brain functions will tell you to fight back or avoid the confrontation.
So, how do we turn those into joyful engagements?
First off, people are going to hate on you from time to time. They may be in a bad mood or are a crappy person. C’est la vie.
I fail sometimes, but here’s how I try to refrain from attack or retreat mode:
- Miserable people say shitty things, usually online. It’s not you, it’s them. Be grateful your life is more fulfilling than theirs.
- It means you have the cognitive ability to express your beliefs and ideas.
- You’re alive! Nobody can critique what dead people are doing.
- It may mean you are interacting with fascinating. or at least diverse, people
- It helps you weed out the losers you don’t need in your life anyway.
- Good or bad, you’re making a difference in the world.
- If it’s from someone of value, you have an opportunity to improve.
If you aren’t being criticized every once in a while, you’ve either surrounded yourself with complacent people or you aren’t doing anything. Worst case, both.
The next time you want to stab someone with a butter knife for being ugly, get your perspective as quickly as possible and you’ll have the right reaction.